Why is it, that when we grow into adults we lose our creativity?
Why is it, that the things that once made us happy, we give up on?
When I was young, I loved being creative.
I used to paint, sing, write songs, stories, design clothes, draw, colour and create anything and everything that popped into my mind.
I feel like I stopped designing clothes around the age of 9, painting and drawing faded by the time I was around 14.
I wrote stories until maybe 15, and I stopped singing at around 18.
It’s only now, at the age of 20, that I am realising just how much I would give to feel the way I felt back then. The feeling of being totally and completely immersed in something that is all your own.
There was a time when I started writing FanFiction – and no it wasn’t the gross kind you’re thinking of – it was just stories, based off characters I knew, but with plots of my own and I remember being so utterly immersed in it that I was writing or reading pretty much all the time. I remember being told off for reading a fantasy book in biology class and hiding the stories I was writing behind my actual workbooks because my ideas were just fighting their way out of my head and I absolutely couldn’t wait to get them down on paper.
Now, I write news stories, I make news videos, I produce news audio. That’s all well and good, it gives me the structure and basic skills I need to carry on to more creative projects. My issue is that I just can’t muster up the excitement that I used to have over such creative projects and I wonder why that is.
I have managed to keep up a reading habit, which I am proud of, and did start doing musical theatre again this year, which I am ecstatic about, but it still doesn’t feel enough.
I wonder why, when I look at the adults around me, most of them are in the same boat. I envy the lucky few who managed to hold on to their creativity, but I’m determined to get mine back and that starts with being a little bit more fearless.
Which is why I’m posting this, because some people are going to read it and judge me, they’ll think this is cheesy, they’ll think I’m over-dramatic.
- News flash. I am over-dramatic.
- Who even cares? This is me and these are my thoughts right at this second and if you don’t like that then I really don’t know why you’ve bothered reading this far.
- I will probably also look back on this in a few years, or a few months, hell probably next week and also acknowledge that this is cheesy and over-dramatic.
This felt good. Thanks for reading my train of thought.
Does anyone else feel like me or do you all just think I’m a lunatic?
It’s not New Years yet, but I determined to prove to myself that I can get back on the creative bandwagon. That I can get lost in my writing again and not even care what anyone else thinks of it because it’s mine.
I don’t know how to end this now. So. End. Much love ❤